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I Guess People Really Like Dicks On Their Mouths

As I always say, never underestimate the power of the penis! 

Yet... that's exactly what I foolishly did. Never would I have thought women would willingly walk around town with a mask of dicks covering up half their face, much less pay for the privilege. But I guess that's what separates folk like me from innovators like Mindy Vincent. 

Vincent says she's sold 5,400 masks and that she has enough material to make 19,000 total masks, which she and others are working furiously to make.

"This is unbelievable and just crazy. I am so grateful because of the struggles it is to run a harm reduction non-profit organization, it’s great to see so many people supporting our cause. The end result is the same, it will help so many people."

Not only are her masks cockblocking people from the virus, but their sales have already raised $56,000 for the Utah Harm Reduction Coalition (UHRC), and she's only getting started. 

Being the brilliant businesswoman that she is, I'm sure at some point Mindy realized that not everyone is like her, not everyone loves penises. So she decided to expand and diversify her portfolio:

Perhaps a colorful mask of vaginas are more your speed? Or black and white boobies? Or maybe you already have the OG penis mask Mindy wore to Petco and would like a little more variety as it's the spice of life. 


The beauty here: not only do you have Guardian Angelic Dicks protecting you, but if someone wants to give you a dirty look for you wearing them, they're the asshole that's close enough to see them in the first place! Give them a dirty look right back and demand they back away from your penises!

Flying dicks and saving lives, it's what Mindy Vincent does.