Click Bait Smitty Was Correct; This Dolphins Cheerleader Could 100% Stop Coronavirus Dead In Its Tracks

Everyone knows that I strive for constant greatness. I may not always accomplish greatness (nobody bats 1.000) but I oftentimes shoot for the stars and land on the moon.  It's a fantastic life to live, but I couldn't have done it without the many heroes I've looked up to; people like Hawk Harrelson and Kenny Powers to name a few examples. 

I strive for greatness in everything, but one thing in particular is greatness in the click bait game. It necessary in my career and my good friend Click Bait Smitty is the undisputed GOAT when it comes to click bait. Nobody does it better. When I saw CBS's blog on the Dolphin's cheerleader dancing yesterday, I almost caused a 5 car pile up on Racine Avenue I was so fixated on my phone. Just look at these pictures! 

Absolute fucking forest fire. One day CBS will take his rightful thrones on the pantheon of all time greats. Thanks for bringing Paige (sexy fucking name) to my attention, CBS. You're a good man.

But I'm also going to use this blog to completely shit on that weasel Adam Smith. 

What a deadbeat this guy is, huh? That pasta slinging poker mush wouldn't know click bait if it hit him in the forehead with a tack hammer. Just reeks of bum.  If you gave me the option to choose death or trade lives with Adam Smith, I'm option for death 10 times out of 10. Just go ahead and cuncel me into Bolivian. Just a sad, sad man.  

And I'm gonna tell him as much on our Twitch stream today. We're going LIVE on MLB The Show around 10:15 CST. TUNE INTO WATCH ME EMASCULATE THIS LOW LIFE! 

Watch live video from barstoolsports on www.twitch.tv