When was the last time you wore jeans? Many are thinking of comfort first when working from home during the stay-at-home order in place due to the coronavirus pandemic. However, some Maryland residents are getting too comfortable.
The Taneytown Police Department in northern Maryland posted a reminder for its nearly 7,000 residents — one that you'd think should go without saying.
"Please remember to put pants on before leaving the house to check your mailbox. You know you who are. This is your final warning," police said in a Facebook post on Tuesday.
Is this some sort of sick joke? A cruel game, perhaps?
It's bad enough everyone has to be stuck in quarantine, with nothing to do at all. Now, the police are telling people how they can and cannot dress??? What type of limp dick operation are they running in Maryland? I mean, god for-fucking-bid I just wanna roll out of bed, in nothing but my underwear, throw on a robe of sorts and grab the fucking mail. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so. Now, these poor residents are forced to put on… pants. Sickening. Absolutely sickening.
All joking aside, I don't really see the big issue here. Just throw some basketball shorts on real quick and you're all set. No harm, no foul. It almost seems like they are targeting someone specific.
You know who you are. This is your final warning.
Come to think of it this seems like a direct threat. I never thought I'd see the day where local police departments started subtweeting residents in their town, yet here we are. Might as well tag the guy then, make it known to the entire world. The part that kills me is the fact that they had to do this whole little song and dance on Facebook when they could've just told the guy that it was his final warning face to face. Especially if everyone already knows who it is. The Taneytown Police Department isn't exactly keeping it under wraps, it's just an if you know, you know type scenario.
Whoever it is, you can't help but feel for the poor bastard. He's definitely not even aware of what he's doing that so wrong. This guy has probably been doing the same routine for years (getting his mail in underwear) but all of sudden everyone is forced to stay home and the police are involved. Now he's left with no choice. He has to put on pants. It's that or the police come busting down his door and slap the cuffs on him. A fair and totally necessary punishment for such a heinous crime.
I have a feeling whoever this guy is won't go quietly into the night, not if it's gotten this far. If it has gotten to the point where the police have to post on Facebook about it, you know that all his neighbors have all tried to stop him and obviously failed. Now it's just a waiting game. I'm sure the entire neighborhood will have eyes on his house, waiting with bated breath to see how it all unfolds. Personally, you'd have to think he just didn't even realize this whole thing was about him and comes out pantsless only to be hit sticked by several officers for his crimes against humanity.
PS - I don't get how people can sit around in their underwear all day. I get loungewear but just sitting in nothing but underwear doesn't seem all that enticing.