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"One Bite, Everybody Knows The Rules" - Extra Thicc Pizza Groundhog Who Is Doing His Part To Support Local Philly Restaurants These Days

Wait. I don't get it. The groundhog said the rule was that you could only take one bite before scoring the slice but he clearly took like 7 or 8 bites there. What gives?

Either way, this groundhog is about to get fat as fuck as he starts moving throughout the city. I mean Brewerytown has Pizza Dads so he better stop in there before he gets moving. But imagine once he goes across the city into Northern Liberties and grabs himself a pie from Beddia?

Hell, with nobody else out in the city right now he could probably even get himself into the hoagie room without a rezzy. While he's in the neighborhood, he might as well pop into Spuntino, Shackamaxon and Circles And Squares. 

Oh my god and then once he starts making his way down to South Philly? It's over. This fat little fuck isn't even going to be able to see his shadow next groundhog's day because he's going to be blocking out the entire sun. You're going to need to airlift him out of his room after he gets done crushing some slices at Angelo's. 

And that's even before he gets to the sandwich menu to grab a cheesesteak. And speaking of cheesesteaks, you know for an absolute fact that this fat fuckin' groundhog is going to fix himself a Philly taco. 

So yeah. Whenever this quarantine is over, just be ready to see an extra thiccccc groundhog just rolling his way up and down Broad Street. 

P.S. - I knew that bastard looked familiar.