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Zach LaVine Just Got Engaged To An Absolute ROCKET

Congratulations and best wishes and all that bullshit blah blah blah. Literally the same day Gar Forman gets shot out of a cannon and into the sun, the Bulls most prolific scorer decides he's ready to take the next big step in life. That's not a coincidence. It's because Gar Forman sucked as a GM and everyone was miserable. Now there's hope in the way of The Karnivore. But before we get to any of that, I'd be a sucker not to know my role. LaVine's fiance Hunter Mar is an absolute fucking rocket and I'm here to celebrate it. The Bulls are so back. 

Congrats to the future LaVines on what I presume to be a ridiculous amount of high quality sex. 

PS = The Karnivore went for 19 against MJ in his prime. Last time we brought in an Eastern European that could stroke it his name was Toni Kukoc and we were world champs.