When you’ve got short lil T-rex arms, you aren’t left with many options. It’s not like you aren’t going to just not take a selfie. Not here in 2014. It’s all about the selfie. Fuck, during last night’s NBA Finals game, there was a commercial for a new show with the guy from Harold and Kumar called “Selfie” and it made me want to blow my brains out. So yea, having a selfie stick 1000% gets this guy laid. How can it not? Selfie stick or die, bitches.
PS: When a 500 pounder is in charge of paddling your boat, that’s when you fake have to tie your shoe and let the people behind you go. No chance I get on the boat ride with that behemoth at the wheel. Don’t care that the water is 2 feet deep, you can never be too safe. Especially when you have your selfie stick with you, you take no chances.