If You Own This Patriots/Yankees T Shirt You Can Go Right To Fucking Hell

Make no mistake about it, if you’re a Pats fan/Yankees fan, you are truly the worst person on earth. Truly, genuinely terrible. I hate you. I HATE you. I don’t even know you, and I hate your guts. I hope all the bad things in life happen to you and nobody else but you. Its not even a good t shirt. “Its all about he Yankees for baseball and the Patriots for Football.” Thats your clever t shirt slogan? You might as well be like “I live in the middle of Connecticut so its a little weird choosing which teams to root for so I root for the Yankees because they win in Major League Baseball and the Patriots because they win in the National Football League.”

And listen I understand things happen when you’re young and you cant always control who you root for. You’re raised a certain way sometimes and thats it. Maybe your family was Yankees fans but your dad ended up having a job with the Patriots or something. I understand there are extenuating circumstances sometimes. Not everyone is necessarily a front runner. But here’s the thing – if you’re a Pats/Yankees fan you just have to accept the fact that everyone on earth is going to view you as an asshole. Right? You just have to understand thats part of the territory of this combination. Enjoy the World Series and the Super Bowls but it comes at the price of you being viewed by the entire planet earth as a scumbag loser.

I think I’d do absolutely anything to root for teams that win but I truly dont think I’d want it to come at the price of being a Pats/Yankees fan. I really dont think I’d sign for that.

UPDATE: