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I'll Have A Glass Of Your Finest Hitler Wine, My Good Man

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Should we just get a bottle? Yea, lets just get a bottle of Hitler

ROME The Nazi-hunting Simon Wiesenthal Centre has called for a global boycott of an Italian company that sells wines featuring images of Adolf Hitler and Nazi slogans on its labels. “The Wiesenthal Centre denounces the marketing of these products and urges wine distributors in Italy and around the world to send the only message the owner of this firm might understand that they choose not to do any business with someone using the Nazi mass murderer as a blatant marketing tool,” said Rabbis Marvin Hier, dean and founder, and Abraham Cooper, associate dean, in a statement. The statement from the Los Angeles-based human rights group was released after a Norwegian couple visiting the coastal town of Rimini this week said they were shocked to discover controversial wines produced by Vina Lunardelli in the country’s north-east. The labels are part of a series including Mussolini, Churchill and Stalin. Alessandro Lunardelli, who heads the company, defended the labels, saying they were a “joke” and not meant to offend anyone. The labels had also become a cult among collectors and had been a great commercial success, he said.

Should we just get a bottle? Yea, lets just get a bottle of Hitler.

Listen I’ll drink just about anything that gets me drunk. I’m not above Hitler wine. If I drank Colt 45 and Cisco growing up, there’s absolutely no way I can play the Holier Than Thou, High Horse Drinking card now. I can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube. I gladly drank 40 ounces of piss for like 4 straight years in high school, so its certainly not fair to judge anyone drinking Hitler wine now.

I feel like Stalin would definitely be your full bodied, “oaky” type of wine. That just seems to fit his genocidal style. Whereas Mussolini is probably like your light bodied Pinot Noir with a dry finish. And then there’s Hitler right in the middle. Your good old fashioned Cabernet. I’d probably understand the drinking snobs much better if this is how we described wine from now on. Don’t tell me if a wine is “oaky” with a “long nose.” I don’t know what the fuck “tannins” are. Just tell me where my wine falls on the spectrum of Stalin-Hitler-Mussolini and I’ll know what you’re talking about.