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Study Proves Guys With Guitars Are More Likely To Get Laid

(NEWSER) – There’s now evidence to support what many women have long accepted as fact: There’s something sexy about a man with a guitar. A French study published in the journal Psychology of Music has found that a guy with a pretty face and a guitar case is much more likely to score a woman’s phone number than, say, a guy with a sports bag or nothing at all. That pairs with an Israeli study that found that female students were much more likely to accept Facebook friendship requests from a male stranger pictured with a guitar than one without. In the first study, described in the Pacific Standard, a 20-year-old male approached 300 young women, introduced himself, told the woman she was pretty, and asked for her number. Some 31% of women gave their digits when he carried a guitar case—compared to 14% when he held nothing, and 9% with the sports bag. The French researchers suggest music is linked with “physical and intellectual abilities” and implies a work ethic, which might be perceived as good qualities in a mate. But there’s an interesting coda: The Israelis later replicated their study among male students, and found no difference if the female was pictured with a guitar or not.

Fuckin musical dudes. They’re like the arch nemesis of normal, boring ass dudes like me. I didn’t play one instrument in my whole life. I peaked at the Recorder. I will admit I absolutely annihilated  Hot Cross Buns, but thats about where I stopped when it came to music. After that, I was out. Hobbies were sports and video games and that was about it. Obviously the sports superstars growing up got a ton of pussy too, but that I can deal with. Thats a situation where you just tip your cap. Both normal dudes and he’s just better at sports, so to the victor goes the spoils. There’s a system in place when it comes to sports and success and judging whether you get to fuck based on your talent. You score the most/win the most/perform the best, you get pussy. Thats fine. But thats not how it works in the world of Guitar Guys. Because theres no system of comparison amongst random musicians really. Its a free for all. Chicks bang anybody who ever picked up the guitar. Oh you can play Wonderwall? Please, enter my vagina. Oh you’re in a band? Let me open up wide for your dick! Dumb chicks just giving up the pussy because they can strum some strings. Doesn’t matter that they are some jobless hipster and his band is just a couple of his unemployed buddies and their gigs are at some dive bar in front of 6 people. All that matters is he’s artsy and creative and blah blah blah. Makes me wanna slam my dick in a drawer. I mean, listen, if you’re Springteen, you earned it. But the fact that any schmuck with a guitar and a band name gets his rocks off more than I do is just bullshit.

PS – 500% either forcing my kid to learn to play the guitar or at the very least teaching him to walk around with one pretending that he plays anytime he’s hitting on chicks. Don’t wanna grow up and be a bitter, old, talentless borderline virgin like your dad, son! Play/pretend to play that fuckin guitar!

PPS – Love that “found no difference with men if the female was pictured with a guitar or not” part. I don’t think it would be possible for me to care any less whether a chick played a guitar or not.