Tom Brady Is Dead Wrong About Wanting To Get Rid Of Team Showers

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I don't know if I've ever disagreed with Tom Brady, save for his decision to leave New England, but he is dead wrong about his take on Howard Stern where he said that it's crazy we don't have individual showers anymore. DEAD wrong.

I think we started doing group showers in like mite hockey, maybe squirt but definitely pre-puberty, because we had the same rink as the high school team and we saw they did it. We figured to get good at hockey you had to shower together. And you know what? We weren't entirely wrong. Group showers probably don't increase personal skill (though the science is still out) but it sends camaraderie through the roof. 

The hockey team at school is always the closest and always the "gayest" because they shower together. Football and baseball usually have a good group of the squad that's thick as thieves because they've seen each others peens. Teams like golf and tennis? They might as well be strangers. No love at all in those groups. Why? No showers.

And it's not all about seeing dick, you just pull a Kramer and sneak a peek then keep your head up the rest of the way, but the willingness to say, "Hey, I trust you enough to show you my penis. Even if it sucks. I trust you won't tell the world because we're teammates," that brings the gang together. Everyone's in there doing dick tricks and laughing it up, planning the party for the night, sharing soap, making fun of fat guys on the team. It's the closest you'll ever be to your friends. 

If I don't know you're down to get naked and fuck around then how the hell am I supposed to trust you with the game on the line? I can't, and I won't. The showers should be the first thing a free agent looks at on a facility tour, if you've got individual stalls then move on to another team because that franchise is doomed forever.