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Phatty McBigcock Accidentally Joined Evelyn's "Mommy and Me" Zoom Dance Class

So over the past few weeks over at Barstool Chicago HQ we've interviewed a few athletes, Nickelodeon game show host Mark Summers, and the Mayor of Chicago, Lori Lightfoot. It's kinda odd knowing that 99.99% of people are doing the exact same thing, just sitting in their apartments and twiddling their thumbs waiting for baseball to come back. Doesn't matter how famous or poor you are. 

And that's exactly what we have here. I don't care that this tweet is a day old, it made me HOWL with laughter. Just some washed up, beer-gutted drummer or rhythm guitarist from some shitty 1980s cover band getting snot slinging drunk on zoom with his buddies under the pseudonym "Phatty McBigcock".  He's no different than you, me, athletes, mayors and everyone else being overwhelmed by boredom right now. That "mommy and me" dance class had to have been wicked confused when he entered that chat. Absolutely hilarious. 

And I gotta say, he NAILED the dick joke here. It was a 10 out of 10, walk off dinger, buzzer beater, blah blah blah. So simple, yet so effective. Oh and I would have KILLED to be a fly on the wall in that Zoom chat.  Just think of the kinds of convos they were having.  Bet they went something like this:

"Yo Phatty, remember back in 2003 when we slayed those groupies after dominating that 'Hot For Teacher' cover when we were the headliners at Joe's on Weed Street? That was fucking awesome!!!" 

Phatty McBigcock, probably 

PS - didn't have any idea what to use for the thumbnail pic because I didn't wanna give the tweet away, so I went with Van Halen since they were mentioned in the blog, don't talk shit, not trying to get us sued