Who would have ever thought that this man...
... would one day turn into a modern-day Noah, but better. See, Noah knew of God's plan to rid the earth of all its creation, but he didn't share his news with the world. Nah. He kept it on the DL and focused all of his attention on building a gigantic arc for his sons, their wives, and tons of animals. And when it was time, he climbed on that b without looking back, despite knowing every single person/creature was doomed.
Not The Super Destroyer, though. He knows of God's true intentions with COVID-19 and is telling us so we may "turn from [our] wicked ways" and seek forgiveness.
And that vaccine? Fuck it. We don't need it. The longer this carries on, the more time we have to think about God. So scientists should stop working on it immediately because, frankly, they need the most forgiveness of us all. Who do they think they are trying to slow the epidemic down? God? No sir, what we all need to do is nothing. Just lay back and enjoy the ride.
I don't know what it is about sex tapes that make people feel enlightened, but we have Kim K out here trying to change our prison system basically out of nowhere (not a knock, this is awesome), and now Hulk Hogan is preaching the Corona Chronciles. Maybe once you put everything out there for all to see, as God originally intended for Adam and Eve, you're somehow free?
Well free, but without free will.
Look, I'm all in on everything happens for a reason and is here to teach us something. And yeah, we do have way too many distractions. Definitely. But come the fuck on Hulk! "Maybe we don't need a vaccine?" So we should put aside our ability to help, our free will to make the choice to help ourselves, and just pray?
This is the kind of crazy shit that makes people hate religion.
Even God can't stand this level of stupidity according to The Drowning Man: "I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"
I guess science is the present-day rescue vehicle for ol' Hulk. Yikes.