Let's get the forest out of the way so we can see the trees a little bit. No. No, I don't like the fact that a tree that was hundreds of years old was presumably chopped down in order to make a beautiful, beautiful, wooden motorcycle. In fact, I think it's wasteful for our forest and it hurts the tree itself. As a huge fan of the underrated classic Ferngully, I know that trees feel pain. I also know that Avatar is basically Furngully but the live-action version. People just aren't brave enough to say it. I am.
That being said, if you are gonna chop down a tree this old, you better make it something fuck sick. A large, comically large even, motorcycle certainly qualifies. I don't know what you'd do with that wooden bike but it would be a nice conversation starter on a first date or something.
"Oh wow," she says whilst removing her moistened panties.
"Yeah. It's a big wooden motorcycle. It's carved from one tree. Even the throttle is real wood."
"Why don't you take off those trousers, remove your discrete roman swipe from your wallet that won't transfer to me but will help you last longer, and throttle these cheeks."
Tossing the swipe into the trash and looking down at your penis, you whisper to her, "welcome to the vroom-vroom room."
"Incredible," she moans.
Holy shit. Luckily for you, you got those Roman Swipes at GetRoman.com/barstool for a discount. Well, I should say... lucky for her and you. Wink.