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God Fucked Up When S/He Invented One Part Of The Kangaroo

Look, you fellas and ladies know me by now. You know I'm not one who usually spouts off about the evolutionary aspects of God-guided creationism. That's not who I am. Sure, I have a rich and extensive theological knowledge that comes from years of studying and being ordained, but I don't flaunt my bible brain like some sort of seminarian-gained prostitutes' tits. 

Which brings me to the point of this blog. The Kangaroo. Forget everything you thought you knew about kangaroos. Im about to guide you through a process that will blow your tits or dick straight off. 

Think of the kangaroo pouch in your mind. DONT LOOK UP! DONT CLICK THAT VIDEO AGAIN. THINK ABOUT IT. Think about it and imagine a baby joey hanging out in his mother's warm marsupial pouch. What does it look like? Soft. Fuzzy. Warm like a blanket. 

NO! It's fucking skin inside there, dude! Baby joes are inside god damn skin sacks! What in the fuck! We gotta make this right. There is no reason for kangaroos to not have fuzzy pouches in 2020. Sure, there's a coronavirus scare but we gotta figure this shit out, man. This is not good. This is uncomfortable. It's no wonder these joeys will hop into any ole sack they see. It feels better on their kangaroo skin! 

Before I let you go I wanna make one thing perfectly clear. I'm not blaming the mom kangaroos. They have no choice and writing this blog was not an easy decision. After all, I've had a longstanding philosophy that we don't sack shame. No matter what. I couldn't let this go, though. I tried. I just couldn't. Fucking skin sack. Disgusting. Anyway, here's more info on kangaroo pouches. Apparently, they are kind of a titty too? Wild.