Dave Portnoy Reporting Live From the Eye of the Storm - Barstool College Football Show Week 5WATCH NOW

Fellas, Don't Be Asking For Nudes During Quarantine. Nudes Are OUT. Pictures Of Them Reading Books Are IN.

Our king!

Finally someone brave enough to say what we've all been thinking. Look, a lot of us are lonely during quarantine. I live alone and haven't seen a human being that I know in real life in weeks. It's crazy to even think about. Nobody is out there having sex unless you live with your significant other, and you're probably sick of them already too. But now I realize...none of that matters.

Because it's not about that. My eyes have now been open. If you aren't shooting your shot asking a girl about which Harry Potter book is her favorite, you're doing it wrong. If a girl you're shooting your shot with sends you a nude, block her ass. You want NPR, not NIP. 

Ladies, just so I'm clear. We want THIS:


So tonight, text your ex-girlfriend. Ask her what book she's reading. Ask her if she's listened to the latest episode of the Cracking Aces podcast, available on iTunes, Spotify, and Stitcher. Nudes are so last quarantine.