Bored In Class? Might As Well Finger/Fist Your Girl Right In The Middle Of It

“Stop moving”

Well, you’re giving her a goddamn colonoscopy, bud!

Ease up there, big fella! Looks like a vet who’s going into a horse’s ass or something like that. You know, when they put on those huge arm condoms then go fishing for the prostate or whatever business they have up there. Can’t really fault him, though. He’s young. I’m old and I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. When I was his age I’d get down there and just start hammering away like it was a Bop It. Push this, pull that, slap this, twist that, hopefully something happens. After a while I’d just start making aggressive moves with no rhyme or reason at all, like I was trying to open the lock on my locker but couldn’t get the numbers right so I’d just shake vigorously. It’s not easy, bud. But no better time to practice than right in the middle of class.