The Barstool Sportsbook Has Arrived In MichiganLearn More

Millions Of Kids On Tik Tok Are Dancing Incorrectly To Toosie Slide By Drake. I'm Here To Help!

I don't use Spotify, but Toosie Slide by Drake is probably the #1 streamed song right now. It was created just for the talentless Tik Tok teeneagers to dance their way into 1,000,000 views. Unless you are paraplegic, the dance is incredibly easy to learn. There's only 4 steps to learning the Toosie Slide. All you have to do is:

1. Put your right foot up

2. Slide your body to the right

3. Put your left foot up

4. Slide your body to the left

While this modern day Cha-Cha slide seems as simple as taking a shit, it appears Aubrey did a bad job giving out verbal instructions to the youth explaining the difference between left and right.

Exhibit A here started out putting his LEFT foot up when Drake clearly said RIGHT foot up. This kid looked like he was destined for 1,000,000 views. The sparkling lights, the low top Air Force 1's, and his lanyard indicating he's a popular kid in high school clearly shows he has the looks, but not the brains to become an internet sensation.

The caption says it all. The twins tried it, and did not succeed just like Mikey. They weren't listening to the lyrics of Drake as he clearly began the hook with RIGHT foot up. Is Quarantine making all of us go crazy, or are kids these days just plane stupid? 

I don't know if Cally is a troll by saying "everyone learn this" or she's not familiar with art. While she for sure knows how to grab the attention of the male audience right off the bat, she lost my attention 5 seconds in. I need some crazy faces! I need a tongue out like Jordan! To quote Drake, she lacked ENERGY until she expressed how happy she was to hit stop on the recording button. 

I had such high hopes for littledoorag that I threw up right when it started. It's very important to understand that your branding matters. If you're going to be named littledoorag, I expect you to wear your durag so I don't mistake you for somebody else. Do you ever see 2 Chainz out in public without wearing a minimum of 2 Chainz? Anyways, littledoorag opened up with a fire intro, but didn't open up his ears when Drake cleary said RIGHT foot up instead of LEFT.

At least he's having fun. That's all I gotta say.

You get the point. I've been scrolling through my timeline all day and can't believe how many people have danced incorrectly to Toosie Slide already. I want you or your child to be prepared to take over Tik Tik tonight, so I'm going to show you execute this dance like a G.

And just like that, you're going to be flooded with support! It's not 1,000,000 views, but Dave didn't make $1,000,000 overnight either. The ball is in your court Stools Teams 6.

He's not wrong.