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Joe Exotic Has Been Placed In Coronavirus Quarantine In Prison And Must Be Protected At All Costs

(Source)- Joseph Maldonado-Passage, better known as Joe Exotic, has been transferred to a prison medical center in Fort Worth. According to inmate records, Maldonado-Passage, 57, is being held at the Fort Worth FMC, a medical center operated by the Federal Bureau of Prisons.

Dillon Passage, Maldonado-Passage's husband, said that Maldonado-Passage is in coronavirus quarantine because inmates at the jail where he was held prior to his transfer tested positive for the virus.

If the good people of Fort Worth, TX are reading this, please make sure nothing happens to Joe Exotic because he is our nation's most precious resource right now, even if he isn't exactly the best person in the world. I know a month ago, Joe was just the eccentric inmate probably promising all the tiger cub snuggles you could handle if you snuck him out of jail. But Joe is now so much more than just a mere Tiger King with a sweet ass name. He is the content God a nation turned to for hope during a time of hopelessness. Okay, that's a bit extreme. But the tale of Joe Exotic has been the precise distraction America has needed during this coronavirus outbreak. 

I know it's crazy to think that a redneck with a zoo full of jungle cats has been the lighthouse as we sail through these stormy seas. But for every tweet about people getting sick that makes me depressed about the world going to hell, there has been a Joe Exotic meme or blog that brightens up my entire day. If Joe got the virus that helped his Netflix series become the hottest doc thanks to everyone being locked inside their house, I honestly think it would break us. Tom Hanks getting it hurt, as did Idris Elba. But we have been able to escape the awful realities of life by going on the internet, stanning for Joe, and demanding justice for Don. However , if Joe gets the rona, that means the virus will have infected our last bastion of safety during these quarantine days: The internet. And once that happens...

So if there are any Stoolies working in the Fort Worth penal system, please put Joe in a bubble for the next month, stay safe, and if you have any extra time, look into this cold case of a disappearance that occurred in Florida over 20 years ago.