According to Click Orlando the entire state of Florida is being ordered to stay at home for at least 30 days by Governor Ron DeSantis. To make matters worse the executive order to stay at home is taking effect first thing Friday morning at 12:01AM which happens to be the most popular time for Floridians to get together.
More than 30 others states had already issued such orders, including other large states like California, New York and Illinois, all acting more than a week ago.
Florida currently has the fifth highest number of cases for coronavirus and has been in the news for about a month now due to the spring breakers that refused to cancel their in some cases two month long planned vacations. Why did Governor Ron DeSantis wait so long to shut things down?
Well maybe it's because this guy lives in Florida.
How the fuck are you going to stay indoors if dinosaurs are chasing after you?
DeSantis may have caught wind this genius resides in Florida.
Or this woman who cannot be contained.
He might have heard about this gender reveal gone wrong.
Or that the Hillsborough County Sheriff did this recently and needs citizens working the case.
He sure as shit knows his great state has the best pastors who are going to keep doing God's work.
You think this guy's going to stay inside if he's not locked up?
Maybe he knows the gators will take over if people stay inside too long.
There is a 0.0% chance that Floridians are going to stay indoors when we've got evidence that a ship pulling in is enough to draw crowds in New York?
I want to think that Floridians will abide by the stay at home executive order, but I'm just not sure this guy will.
Or this guy who is not the same guy somehow.
Maybe DeSantis knows parents won't tell their kids to stay inside, so why bother.
This guy's going to Ross whether you tell him to stay at home or not.
And this guy's going to Dillard's.
What are these dudes going to do with their molotov cocktails, throw them inside their own house?
I could continue but I think you get the point. It's moot. All but maybe one or two of the above occurred in the last week where everyone but the Georgia Governor knew asymptomatic people could spread the coronavirus. I love you Florida, but stay the fuck at home.
For more Florida Man stories check out tomorrow and every Friday's Hard Factor.