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Chargers: "We're Standing by Tyrod Taylor" = Cam Newton to Chargers 100%

It's Carl. This is my buddy Dope. He writes NFL stuff in the fall and has asked to get more involved in quarantine so we're going to let him write some blogs because you literally have nothing better going on and he's a good writer that I enjoy. You guys should still rip on him though because I'm absolutely here for it. Fuck you Dope Ropes.

Last week when I was scoping "Cam Newton's Next Team" odds, I wasn't surprised to see the Redskins and Broncos at the top of the list. Those teams roll outta bed searching for ways to fuck up the QB position and overpay big names who are past their prime. But over the last 10 days, we've seen the Chargers' odds catapult from as low as +1000 to as high as -150

Bettors flocked to the Chargers after their current QB Tyrod Taylor posted a pic working out with Cam Newton a few days ago, but the odds have settled back to the current price of +200:

I think the Taylor/Newton pic was overblown because Tyrod has worked out with multiple QBs this offseason, but you know what isn't overblown? The Chargers recently doubled down on Tyrod, saying they are all set at QB. Excuse me while I laugh for several minutes.

Stop it, just stop it.

That's all i need to know. Gimme Cam Newton to the Chargers +200.

The last time Tyrod saw significant action was in Cleveland in 2018. This was when Hue Jackson was going full Costanza, trying to get fired by starting Tyrod Taylor and Carlos Hyde over Baker Mayfield and Nick Chubb.

I don't mean to shit on Tyrod. He has earned his place in the league as a well-respected veteran, but he's a low-risk game manager. This is NOT the exciting name to open a new stadium in LA.

Enter Cam Newton. I don't know if his body works anymore (minor detail), but his name still carries serious weight and he has an unquestionable desire to be a brand. In a major market on a team that desperately needs to drum up fanhood, the Chargers are a blank canvas for Cam to dress like a clown and be the high-profile face plastered all over SoFi Stadium.

And you know what that means, #FlexFriday is coming to LA.

Cam's inner monologue:

"I should post a pic with my shirt off because I'm a Greek god, but I've been consistently criticized for making everything about myself. But wait, I could get all my teammates to pose with me so that it looks like a 'team' thing. Yeah, like I'm just one of the guys…"

Learning that Cam founded Flex Friday was the least surprising thing I've ever heard. It's like the guy with a huge dick who insists on streaking. At the peak of partying days, every self-respecting group of friends had a "naked guy" who would drop clothing at a moment's notice to be "funny," but in reality they just wanted to show off their hog. I know this because I was that guy. I'm really not that impressive, it's just that I'm the opposite of "grower not a shower." My dick was born ready, perpetually fluffed. Like Hugh Jackman as a ringmaster.

Side Note: Major shoutout to Greg Olsen for being a great teammate here. I doubt he's taking this tradition to Seattle.

Alright, I'll close this thing out with a note to LAC:

Dear Chargers, 

Your QB will face opposing crowds whether he's home or away, so please do us a favor and make that QB more interesting than Tyrod Taylor. 

Much appreciated.