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Our New Reality: Burglars Are Now Stealing Groceries, Coffee Pots, And Garbage Cans

It goes without saying, but every now and again, we're reminded just how unprecedented these times are. The Coronavirus pandemic has changed everything. Times are getting tougher by the moment. Just last week, 3 million Americans lost their jobs.  

On top of the economic hardship, it's becoming nearly impossible to buy anything desirable at the grocery store. In lots of places, shelves and freezers have been empty for weeks. Amazon and other online grocery services are stretched to the max. You want toilet paper or any other household goods? Psshhh. Forget about it. No chance.

It's like Mad Max out here. When the world is in chaos, and desperation kicks in, it's normal to see an uptick in crime. Burglaries, looting, shoplifting, etc... But in our new reality, even criminals have shifted their priorities. A good example of this (surely to the last) comes in a recent news story out of Lincoln, Nebraska

A resident in Lincoln called the police reporting her house had been broken into and several items were missing. Normally, those items would be electronics, jewelry, cash, credit cards, and firearms. In this particular case, the items stolen were... the kind of shit we can't buy because of this little Pandemic.

According to this story in the Associate Press, "the thief prepared food in the kitchen before leaving with groceries, a coffee pot, and two garbage cans."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? This has got to be the most bizarre story I've ever heard. 

This is where we're at folks. This is the kind of dystopian world are we living in. THIS is the story right here that brings it all into focus.

Folks are breaking into homes to steal garbage cans and groceries!!! I repeat, hide your Keurig, hide your snacks, they stealing everything up in here. 

I know it wasn't in the report, but I'd bet my 32oz jar of crunchy peanut butter that he or she stole toilet paper and hand soap as well. Those shits are going for more on the secondary market than a pair of Off-White x Air Jordan 1's. Especially now. After all, who needs Jordan's when you can't even stunt in 'em?

I do hope, for humanity's sake, he or she didn't steal sanitizing wipes as well. Nothing would make me happier than for this thief to contract a deadly virus because he forgot to disinfect the stolen skim milk he swiped from his corona neighbor's fridge.