To All The Haters Chirping At My Dinner Acting Like They've Never Seen Philly-Style Lumberdogs Before

Dear haters, 

Tonight I made a traditional Philly-style lumberdogs roll and you all lost your tiny minds.

Oh I'm sorry BILL BUTTLICKER. You seem way fancier than me BILL BUTTLICKER. Didn't mean to gross you out MR. BUTTLICKER.

Maybe my dog logs don't look as smooth as you'd get from a lumberdogs vendor in South Philly, but in my defense my dog-splitter is in the dishwasher since I used it last night for this same meal. That's how good it is btw. You have it once and suddenly you're eating it every night for a month. 

Speaking of South Philly, this was the tweet where everyone reallllly went nuts, all because I said it was a classic Philly thing. 

Yeah, well apparently I lost alot of other people, too, Dan. Because currently my DMs are a dumpster fire with my own fellow Eagles fans attacking me. Guess I know what it's like to be a player now, so thanks for that. Seems like none of you are from the real parts and far out suburban nooks of the city and your family never showed you the culture. Rone knew what I was talking about, and my Dad, raised in Drexel Hill his whole life, grew up on them, as did I and everyone I know. 

So in closing, haters, if you can't take my heat, get outta my kitchen and DMs.

See ya later, weenies.