Pop A Bottle Because New York Liquor Stores Have Been Deemed An Essential Business And Can Remain Open During The Coronavirus Crisis
NYDN- New York liquor stores have been deemed “essential” outlets and will be allowed to remain open amid the coronavirus crisis, a state trade group said Friday. “Liquor stores are considered essential,” the New York State Liquor Store Association. “We do not have to reduce our workforce.”
The group cited state regulations that exempted stores selling “beverages” from coronavirus rules that virtually shut down the state. Gov. Cuomo announced tough new measures closing all but essential businesses and ordering New Yorkers to stay home except for urgent matters.
During these crazy times, it's nice to see common sense prevail over everything else. If we are going to be living a permanent snow day for the foreseeable future, there is going to have to be liquor available to keep people from going insane. Food, shelter, water, and space may be the four needs of life. But booze is the swingman that can be considered a fifth need whether you are drinking to remember or drinking to forget, kinda like Y can be a vowel in a pinch.
The success of the Patriots was driven by Brady, Belichick, Portnoy and the success of the quarantine will be driven by food, medicine, booze. You can't just turn an entire state into a dry campus overnight. Not because lushes like the mamalukes on KFC Radio will eat themselves alive without the hard stuff but because those idiots and idiots like them will inevitably use their unlimited free time to Google how to make liquor themselves once their sober minds have reached their limit and then everyone becomes Homer Simpson, which is never where you want your society to be. Especially during a goddamn pandemic.
We know that the human spirit is #HockeyTough. But it'll probably need a boost over the coming weeks, which is why Pink Whitneys, margaritas, and all the other spirits will carry it before bitch boy covid gets dealt with. And once that happens, we are going to pop champagne bottles on its fucking grave.
P.S. Everything I said in this blog holds true to anyone that doesn't have kids under the age of 10 or so. However for people like me that have young ones, there is nothing in the world I would rather have happen to me outside of contracting coronavirus than being hungover with kids. I'm in permanent Double Jeopardy over here until my little can quietly live their lives without getting into any shit or injuring themselves the minute I turn around. So pour one out for your pal Clem as I try to make it through a quarantine with a 5-year-old and a 2-year-old without a bullpen of booze to help put out the fires in my brain.