The Bucs Can Go to Hell with This Tom Brady Hype Video

Oh, hell no. The Buccaneers can fuck right off with this, right now. And I can say that because this is exactly what we'd be doing if the shoe was on the other foot. But in this case, it's a dirty pool. 

Don't you know who we are? We're Massholes. You don't make hype videos after signing our players, we make hype videos after signing yours. We were making our bones when you were finishing in 4th place with Jon Gruden and Bruce Gradkowski. We practically invented the damned things. 

As a matter of fact, here's a history lesson for you sun-soaked, beach-adjacent pool owners with your convertibles and vintage Creamsicle Lee Roy Selmon jerseys. In a around about way, the Patriots were part of the birth of YouTube. It was inspired by the Super Bowl against Carolina in 2003 after the internet was buried in a blizzard of searches for the video of Janet Jackson's nipple. We were there at the start. And quickly perfected the hype video through having more practice making them and any other population on Earth. 

So knock it off. It's one thing to marry a man's wife. It's another thing entirely to post a video on the adult sites of your honeymoon night when you're doing his signature bedroom maneuver. Cease and desist.  Or I'll see you in Hell.