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Passenger Narrowly Avoids Getting An Axe To The Face And It Instead Sticks Harmlessly In The Dashboard

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Mirror- A car passenger narrowly avoided death after an AXE smashed through the windscreen and embedded itself in the dashboard. Officers say the axe dislodged itself from the back of a landscaper’s truck before hurtling towards the vehicle behind it. The passenger was described by police as “shaken up” after miraculously escaping inharmed. The truck driver was cited for failure to secure cargo, which carries a $200 fine. On its Facebook page, the state police praised the driver for sticking to the speed limit “The man whose car was struck was obeying the speed limit, driving about 65 mph.“If he had been speeding, the increased velocity of his car would have increased the power of the axe’s impact, meaning it could very well have gone through the glass and injured his passenger. “Please remember those lessons. We are very thankful that this situation did not have a worse ending.”

Well it looks like curtains for whoever was sitting in that passenger seat.  Hopefully they ate some good foot, met some great people and went on vacation in some interesting places along the way because they don’t have much time left.  According to every Final Destination movie ever this person is going to be dead soon.  That’s how death works.  Sorry.  You cheat death once and from there on out you’re a marked man.  It’s only a matter of time before they get hit by a city bus or sliced to pieces by telephone wires.  I don’t make the rules, I just know what they are.  And one of those rules says, “If you’re sitting in a car and an axe falls off a truck and narrowly misses hitting you in the face, you’re due.  Your number has been called.  In the death raffle that is held at every life carnival, you’re officially a winner.”  Sad but true.  What should this person do now?  Well if I knew death was hot on my heels I’d do what any rational person with a fully formed brain would do: barricade myself in my basement with an endless supply of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and a Netflix subscription and wait for the reaper to come a knocking. That’s how you bravely face death in 2014.

PS- How great were the Final Destination movies?  The first one was a game changer.  Then like any other successful movie franchise they made a million of them and ruined it.  But that first one is still awesome.  It forever cemented my fear of flying on planes.