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Starbucks Is Testing a Latte That Tastes Like Stout Beer

starbucks sucks

 

 

SOURCE – Maybe since Starbucks has taken over the world with the pumpkin spice latte (PSL), they think they can do whatever they want. Like create a latte that tastes like beer. The Dark Barrel Latte, made with a flavored syrup that reportedly tastes like dark stout beers like Guinness, is the coffee company’s latest latte venture, according to The Irish Independent. The creamy drink is topped with whipped cream and dark caramel sauce. A Buzzfeed writer who tried it recently in Columbus, Ohio, said: “It does taste remarkably like stout.” It’s only available in select test markets at the moment.

 

Perfect! I’ve always wanted to be able to start my day with a beverage that tastes like the inside of a 19-year-old college girl’s dorm room trash can during exam week! Finally we’ve got someone willing to supply the overwhelming demand for coffee that tastes like beer that tastes like coffee. And all it took was developing a concentrated, stout-flavored syrup that we can pump into your drink and definitely isn’t real life poison. Plus, since it’s in the form of a Starbucks latte so you get that authentic Irish stout touch of heaping whipped cream and rope after rope of jizzy caramel all over it!

Seriously, though, is this just a test by Starbucks to see how much power they have over America? Like, no one could actually want this, so they must just be trying to get a baseline for how much special promotions actually work, right? Like if they figure out a certain percent of customers are so brainwashed that they’ll automatically try something new even if it sounds like dog shit, then they can figure out how effective a promotion that doesn’t sound absolutely disgusting really is. Only reason I can think of for pouring money into maybe the worst idea ever.

 

PS: Of course a buzzfeed writer thinks that a drink overflowing in whipped cream and caramel sauce tastes just like a stout.

PPS: If Dunks does this, best idea ever.