Nothing Screams Retirement Life Like Dirk Getting His Minivan Stuck In Mud And Having To Call Deron Williams To Tow It Out

Goddamnit I love Dirk. No one is having more fun during retirement than Dirk. But, first we gotta talk about the van. OF COURSE Dirk drives a minivan. It had to be him or Tim Duncan that would drive this. But, Dirk trying to take this thing offroading and getting stuck in mud is just so perfect Dirk. Look at this picture! 

That's a retired man. He couldn't wait to hop on Facebook and post all about it. Dirk has just been living the life though. He had a street named after him. He said he had to start fasting because he ate so much after he retired he weighed nearly 300 pounds. We saw him getting ready to crush some dingers (slap singles) in the cage:

Everything about this video is perfect though. Dirk's goofy smile. The caption that he called Deron Williams asking if he was quarantined. Really need to know what happened if Deron said he was quarantined. Really, it's just all about the minivan. Long live Dirk, man. 

I will say Deron missed a great opportunity to drop this line: