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Breaking: Vegas Buffets Are Closing, We Are Officially In The Darkest Timeline Possible

NOT THE BUFFETS!!!!!

Folks, it's getting bad. Conference tournaments are being canceled. The stock market is in the crapper. And now you can't event eat 3 dozen crab legs for $25 in Vegas anymore. This truly is the darkest timeline. M. Night Shyamalan couldn't write a movie that took this sort of turn.

What are you supposed to do in Vegas if not the buffet? Sure it's not the most glamorous spot to eat in the city, but there is nothing like hunkering down at the Bellagio buffet for the day. You ever made 6,7,8 trips up for food? It's glorious. And then finishing off the meal with the soft serve ice cream. My goodness. Nothing tastes better than grabbing soft serve ice cream to go at the end of a buffet session in Vegas.

So on one hand, flights and hotels to Vegas are super cheat. On the other hand, you won't be able to sit at a buffet and stuff your face until the cows come home. Boy. I don't know if it's worth it anymore.

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PS: Pray for the Golden Corral. It's only a matter of time. That's when you know it's real.