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MUST WATCH: Memphis Has Caught Coronavirus Fever!

Who all seen the Coronavirus say YEAHHHH!!! A week before St. Patrick's Day no less! All the hysteria, handwashing, stock plunges, and flooding of my Twitter timeline caused by the Coronavirus is somehow all worth it thanks to the greatness of that video. The vibes of a local news instant classic from Internet 1.0 brought into the modern day that I wouldn't even believe was actually real if it wasn't shown on that guy's TV or couldn't be found on the Fox 13 website.

As is usually the case with these hallmark internet videos, there is an entire cast of incredible characters playing their roles perfectly to make this an instant classic. Lets give out the medals for the performances from the strongest cast I have seen since Knives Out.

Bronze Medal: Concerned Mother AKA Sure Deeeid

When this video started, I thought this lady was going to be the star of the video. Instead, she just sets the table like  great leadoff hitter while also answering the age old question "What would a Barstool blog full of run on sentences and devoid of any sort of punctuation marks actually sound like?" 

Bonus points for talking like a Southern Marty Mush at the speed of the Micro Machines Man.

Silver Medal: Dude Getting Blasted In The Face By Disinfectant

Is that Professional Grade School Sanitizer that the school janitor always used to carry around, disinfectant that can actually protect you from the Coronavirus, or just good old fashioned Windex? Correct Answer: It doesn't matter because it's hilarious no matter what.

Gold: Bag Lady

I couldn't understand a word she said but it was a true GOAT level performance from her nose to her toes.

Just because the Coronavirus has caused everyone to lose their mind, it should not cause everyone to lose their sense of style. This woman clearly should have gone with yellow grocery bags on both feet and save the extra large white plastic bag for her head. Safety first!

Also Receiving Votes:

School Sign That Is A Month Behind:

Guy Who Not Only Recorded This Gem And Posted It On The Internet But Also Gave Outstanding Commentary With The Perfect Wheezing Laugh When Bag Lady Showed Up: