Advertisement

Tyler Gaffney is Another Step in Belichick's Plan to Corner the Market on Super Handsome Players With Smokeshow Girlfriends







So last night while El Pres was beating me to the punch on Belichick outsmarting the world by claiming Tyler Gaffney off of waivers, I was by no means going to take it lying down.  While he was writing that blog, I was researching Gaffney’s measurables (220lbs with a sub-4.5 40 and a remarkable 6.78 3-cone time, which is like heroin to the Hooded One).  Researching his Stanford career.  Finding out that he was a good enough athlete to sign on with the Pittsburgh Pirates then pay back half his signing bonus because he missed football too much.  In short, I was finding out that he’s a Patriots kind of guy, through and through.

But i didn’t stop there.  I would’ve been derelict in my duty if I didn’t also make contact with my newest close, personal Internet friend, Gaffney’s girlfriend, Kristen Louelle.  Who’s not only astonishingly beautiful, she’s a hardcore Stoolie like him.  New England?  Meet Kristen.  Kristen?  New England.  The guy Belichick wants is smart, tough, fearless, versatile, coachable.  Guys Belichick can relate to and work with.  And he’s proving that he wants guys who are winners, on and off the field.  How can any player relate to a swordsman like Belichick unless he’s one himself?  That’s why he’s built this team around super attractive lady killers like Brady, Gronk, Edelman, Amendola and Garoppolo.  Being on this team means being a champion in the bedroom as well as on the field.  And it’s obvious Gaffney’s got the former all locked up so can the latter be too far behind.  So welcome to town, Tyler and Kristen. You’re going to fit right in here.  This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.  @JerryThornton1