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It's Officially Time To Panic! The Coronavirus Could Lead To Diet Coke Shortages

Business Insider- As the coronavirus takes its toll on the US economy and beyond, it may also affect production of a beloved beverage: Diet Coke. In its annual report published on Monday, Coca-Cola cited "delays in the production and export" of ingredients sourced from China, including zero-calorie sweeteners used in several of its diet products, as a result of the coronavirus outbreak. 

"As a result of the outbreak of the novel coronavirus COVID-19, beginning in January 2020, our suppliers in China have experienced some delays in the production and export of these ingredients," the report said. "We have initiated contingency supply plans and do not foresee a short-term impact due to these delays. However, we may see tighter supplies of some of these ingredients in the longer term should production or export operations in China deteriorate."

MOTHERFUCKER!!! As someone that has watched this coronavirus mayhem safely from his very secluded home in Winterfell without any plans of traveling any time soon due to having a one-year-old that refuses to be calm for more than 2 minutes at a time, I have to admit that I haven't been all that impacted by the craziness going on in the world. I'm not an asshole though as I hope this outbreak stops ASAP because the videos and accounts of that shit are horrible. And anything that can keep that crazy son of a bitch Donnie out of a country must be a beast.

But this story has officially brought the impact of the coronavirus to the doorstep of my home as well as the homes of every other person that loves the taste of soda without those yucky unwanted calories. My palate is not ready to go back to fully leaded soda with sugar nor it is refined enough to quit the bubbly stuff altogether. I know Pepsi people like Robbie Fox will say to just switch things up to Diet Pepsi. But it's not that simple. You rely on a certain flavor when you become a diet cola person and I'm hooked on DC at the moment. Plus it's not like each soda has it's own secret formula completely different than the other. At some point, that asshole coronavirus is going to choke out all the artificial sweeteners and knocking diet sodas onto the IR indefinitely. And when that happens, there may be a revolution unlike anything we've ever seen.

So to any doctors both local and abroad that may be reading this. Please get this coronavirus shit under control before there is a blue checkmark riot bigger than any stir Barstool has ever caused. Because I'm not ready for those assholes' angsty tweets and I'm definitely not ready to suck dick for a can of Diet Coke that would be worth more than the going rate of a pound of unicorn meat.

Also as someone that has admired Kate Beckinsale for years, I feel terrible meme'ing her as the coronavirus for clicks. So here are some of her pictures from Instagram so you can give her a follow. It seems like the right thing to do.