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Thank You For Your Service: China To Deploy 100k Ducks To Fight An Enormous Locust Swarm In Pakistan

China is planning to dispatch a 100,000-strong army of ducks to help Pakistan combat a massive locust infestation, a local newspaper reported on Thursday.

The legion of locust-eating waterfowl will be sent from the eastern province of Zhejiang following the earlier arrival of a team of Chinese experts in Pakistan to advise on how to tackle the infestation, said to be the worst in 20 years, the Ningbo Evening News said.

China deployed ducks, whose natural diet includes insects, to fight a similar infestation in the north-western Xinjiang region two decades ago, reportedly with considerable effectiveness. Their use is both much less expensive and environmentally damaging than pesticides, the paper quoted a Zhejiang Provincial Institute of Agricultural Technology researcher, Lu Lizhi, as saying.

Fuck yes. I would absolutely love to be in Pakistan right now and I cant remember the last time that was the case. Can you imagine? Sitting there at your Pakistan AirBnB and seeing locust just absolutely run amuck. They are everywhere. You cant sunbathe. You cant go mountain climbing. You cant take a little jaunt through the park, and it's all because of those fucking locust. 

Your 12-day vacation to Pakistan is just about ruined and you swear that you'll never be coming back. The Pakistani government, while upset, understands your frustration but there's simply nothing that can be done. 


What's that noise. 

Quack quack. 

*Looking around you think 'no way."

Quack Quack Quack. 

Mother of god. 

Just over the crest of a mountain range, you see 100k ducks in formation ready to fly in and eat nearly 200 locusts per day. 

"Chaps. There's no way that can possibly be true. 200 per day? That's what.... twice the amount a chicken could eat?"

Almost three times the amount!

“Ducks like to stay in a group, so they’re easier to manage than chickens,” he said. A duck is also capable of eating more than 200 locusts per day, compared to just 70 for a chicken, Lu said. “They have three times the combat capability,” he added.

Anyway, thank god for all these ducks and it's not just because ducks are delicious. It's because these ducks will be saving crops. So, even if you are vegan, you are only eating because of these 100k ducks. Everybody say, "Thanks, ducks."

"Thanks, ducks!"