This Genius Who Can Remember The Score Of Every Yankees Game Since 2014 Is Nothing Short Of Remarkable

I don't know much, but what I do know is that this young man named Will is the smartest person alive. My memory is absolute dog shit. I genuinely can't remember anything and it's sad. I actually have to reset my Apple ID password every week because I can't remember it. Right now I have no idea what it is. In terms of memory I'm of the lowest intelligence there is. As a result I'm the worst trivia player alive. Someone yelled at me today because I missed their birthday and didn't text them (asshole move). My only hope for bday reminders was Facebook, but I haven't used that since college so I'm shit outta luck. I know my own, my sister's, and my mom's. I knew my dad's was at the end of February but I could never recall the exact date 100% of the time. Every night I lose my Firestick remote. Every single night. It's fucking infuriating. You see there's just nothing there up there in the memory bank. 

Will is the complete opposite and he makes me feel worthless. You can just shout out a random date after 2014 and he'll tell you everything that happened in that Yankees game. If you try and stump him on a day they were off he'll call you out for it. Remarkable. How anyone could do this is beyond me? 

We need Will on more important tasks. We should be using Will in the CIA to solve world issues. For now, I'll continue to be completely captivated by his Yankees knowledge and try to forget that Giancarlo Stanton just strained his calf.