Gigi Becali, the owner of Bucharest football club FCSB, thinks he knows what's to blame for his team's recent poor run of form... the players are having sex too much.
The 1986 European Cup winners, formerly known as Steaua Bucharest who are Romania's most successful club with 26 league titles, have failed to win their last three games, and Becali told local media the players were spending too much time with their girlfriends.
'My players are making love with their girlfriends too often, that's why they aren't playing football so well lately,' he said after FCSB's 1-1 home draw against lowly Chindia Targoviste.
This is the kind of weird shit that gives soccer a bad rap over here in the states. You never hear of an NFL or NBA owner coming out and saying "my players fuck too much". It just doesn't happen. Soccer, however, has had some weird stories floating around this month. Things like the French player who got suspended for biting another player's penis. It just adds more fuel to the fire, making more and more people think that we are lunatics.
While it's not exactly a bad look for a story like this to come out, it's weird. Actually, the more I think about it, this was just this owner lashing out. There's no possible way to know that his players are having frequent sex unless he has some way of telling. Perhaps this owner checks their semen levels or has cameras in their houses. I don't know. Just spitballing.
It seems like this owner doesn't want to blame his players directly for the poor run of form. That's how people get angry at the board and how your best players end up leaving. So he ends up just spinning it onto their significant others, planting the seed of thought in the players' heads of "we need to stop having sex" rather than "out owner thinks we're shite". Honestly, a brilliant move. However, I'm sure the girlfriends of the players won't necessarily take kindly to the idea that they are to blame for the poor run of form.
61-year-old Becali, who made a fortune in real estate, praised CFR Cluj coach and former Chelsea right back Dan Petrescu for restoring discipline at the club.
'Look at Dan Petrescu,' said Becali. 'CFR players have sex only once a week. They meet with women only once a week.'
I was NOT aware of how often owners checked up on their own players' sex lives, much less the sex lives of other teams.
Of course, it all makes sense now. The team he refers to is in the first place. As everyone knows, sex kills and this is no exception. CFR Cluj has clearly figured something regarding sex and sports. Once a week and you'll be top of Liga 1 in no time. Well, I hope for the sake of our friend Gigi here, his players top having sex. It's his way or the highway so if they want to continue playing at an elite level, I guess the need to have less sex.