Advertisement

A Russian Guy Saws His Own Leg Off While High on Spice

Source A 29-year-old man has hacked off his own leg after taking 'zombie drug' spice and a cocktail of painkillers in Russia.

Graphic pictures show the man lying on a hospital bed clutching at the stump of his left leg after sawing above the knee in the city of Prokopyevsk, 2,100miles east of Moscow.

Medics kept the man, who is yet to be identified, alive as they managed to stem the bleeding from his open wound. ...

Spice is a popular synthetic drug which can leave users in a 'zombie-like' state. It has achieved notoriety in Britain and elsewhere in recent years.

It is usually made up of herbs or shredded plant material, with man-made chemicals added.

OK, let's get this out of the way: I bet he can't stand this. The zombie drug must be cheap. Some drugs will cost you and arm and a leg. I bet his favorite song is "Come On, Eileen." He can always get a job at IHop. He wanted to sue the hospital but he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Call this man's bank so he can check his balance. I invented a sandal for him; It was a flop.  

Now that that's out of our way ...

Here's the thing about drugs. I'm not in any position to be judgmental or lecture anyone to just say no or anything of the sort. Lord knows, I have my vices. It's just that before I indulge them, I do the research. To me it's not a moral issue, it's a math problem. 

For instance, when I was working in the courts, they had a system where, when you were sent to court for new charges, the first thing you had to do was go into an office where they'd take your information and run your record so the judge would have it when your case got called. And one morning, a guy who was charged with being on heroin was sitting there and shat himself. Right in the middle of the interview. In a room full of people. Through his pants and all over the chair. And my first thought was, heroin must be amazing. My logic being that if there was a 0.1% chance that the New England IPA I'm going to have this afternoon would have me shitting myself in front of a bunch of people in an office, I would never touch the stuff. But this guy looked at odds that were probably closer to 50/50, and decided he liked his chances. Because the reward in that case was worth the risk. 

So take Zombie Drug Guy here. (Just don't take actual Zombie Drug.) I haven't the first clue what the odds are that doing spice mixed with a cocktail of Russian painkillers will have you cutting off limbs with a saw. But this is the first I've heard of this and I imagine millions of people worldwide do it. So let's be conservative and put the chances at 0.0001%. See, that's enough to make me say thanks but no thanks. Some people roll those dice. And this guy rolled snakeyes. It's horrifying and tragic, and also a cautionary tale about what happens when the risk is not worth the reward. You're quality of life would be better you became a literal zombie.

In all candor, because I feel obligated in that Jerry Springer's "Final Thoughts" kind of way, take some sincere advice and give spice a good leaving alone. A buddy of mine is an EMT and he's dealt with the aftermath of this stuff. And says it's legal for the same reason as Drano or rat poison are legal. Because they're not meant for human consumption. And are every bit as good for you. Keep your life and your leg. Just say no to Zombie Drugs.