Time Square Winnie The Pooh Arrested For Stabbing A Dude To Death
Gothamist - A man who may wear a Winnie The Pooh costume in Times Square has been arrested for the fatal stabbing of a man at a Midtown deli last week. The suspect, whom the Post identified as Winnie impersonator ‘Arturo,’ was arrested around 2 p.m. Friday at Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut, and is expected to face murder charges. The incident happened around 9:30 p.m. on Tuesday. Victim Luis Martinez, 36, was allegedly stabbed by the suspect at the New Star Cafe, on 7th Avenue between 39th and 40th Streets. Martinez stumbled out of the diner and made it past a few storefronts on West 40th Street before collapsing in front of a Hale & Hearty Soup. He died of his wounds at Bellevue Hospital. A NYPD source told the Times that the two had gotten into an argument prior to the stabbing, and seemed to know each other: “As soon as he goes in he starts arguing with this individual that stabs him twice,” Robert Boyce, the chief of detectives, said. The Times spoke to another costumed character who gave some more information about the possible motive: “A man in Times Square dressed as Batman said on Friday that an Elmo had told him that the argument was over whose turn it was to buy beer.”
Well looks like the Time Square Starting Five just hit the lottery and landed the number 1 overall pick. Homicidal Winnie The Pooh is about to take this team to the next level. The current squad was: Anti-Semetic Elmo as team Captain and starting PG. Starting 2 guard is Spiderman who punched a 45 year old woman in the face. Super Mario who groped a 60 year old woman’s thigh is the 3. Starting at Power Forward is Cookie Monster, who might be the most despicable of them all. Assaulted a 2 year old child because the mother would not pay 2 dollars for a photo op. The latest member to join the team was Woody from Toy Story who sexually assaulted a bunch of chicks. But Winnie The Pooh straight up murdering a dude is some major shit. Stabbing a dude to death is really a whole ‘nother gear of deviant.
Reminds me a lot of when the Spurs landed Tim Duncan with the number 1 pick. David Robinson was hurt and the Spurs just sucked for that year and landed a franchise changing player and immediately rose to the top of the league. Thats the kind of game changer Homicidal Winnie The Pooh is. Anti-Semetic Elmo has been the cornerstone of this squad for year now, but Pooh is taking over. None of this childish petty assault or sexual deviance. Pooh is flat out a murderer. Thats a new frontier for the Times Square Derelicts.
PS – When its your turn to get beer for a Times Square character, you fucking get the beer for him. Especially if its Winnie The Pooh. We already established that Pooh is nothing but a half naked hermaphrodite. Any dude who dresses up like him for a living is probably a murderer. Just get him his beer.