Dating Site Ranks the Irish as the Ugliest Men in the World

Source - Irish men have been branded the “undisputed ugliest” in the world by a contentious dating website that only allows attractive people to join.

 A new poll by picky international dating site beautifulpeople.com has seen Irish males slip to the foot of a table of the world’s most attractive nationalities.

Just six per cent of Irish single men who applied to land their profiles on the elite Los Angeles-based site were successful - less than any other nationality, and officially Ireland’s worst-ever result in the site’s annual nation-by-nation ‘beauty charts’.

In contrast Ireland’s women have climbed up the table to sixth overall in the world - their highest-ever ranking and tied with France, with an impressive 35 percent acceptance rate.

Commenting on the contrasting trends for both Irish men and women, Greg Hodge, Managing Director of BeautifulPeople, said: “There are many examples of very handsome Irish men in Hollywood, such as Cillian Murphy, Colin Farrell, Michael Fassbender and Jamie Dornan.

“However, this is the exception and not the norm. Unfortunately, when you look at the stats, Irish men are the undisputed ugliest in the world. They really are in a league of their own.

“But Irish women are continuing to improve their beauty rankings." ...

The contentious LA-based dating service - which has a global membership of over five million - makes no apology for only accepting good-looking singletons. 

No apologies necessary, Greg Hodge, Managing Director of BeautifulPeople. As a descendant of Irishmen who, in four generations, have made it all the way from the docks of Boston to a town 15 miles south of Boston, I suppose I'm expected to get all pissed off over news like this. Oh, us pasty-skinned, pie-faced, beer-gutted, freckled sots are being told we look like apes and that's supposed to get our Irish up. Like that's something we never heard before. 

Nice try, Beautiful People. But speaking for Micks everywhere, we don't give a tuppenny fuck. We don't have to be reminded of the super attractive Irishmen like Cillian Murphy, Colin Farrell, Michael Fassbender, Jamie Dornan or this irresistible panty-dropper:

Irishmen have been told we're unattractive since a "dating site" was a stonewalled pub in Tuam that knew how to give you a proper pour. And if you've noticed, over the centuries we've still had no problems pulling the kind of tail you just ranked sixth in the world alongside of France. Even as the British Crown tried to starve my ancestors out of existence, we've bred like rabbits thanks to our ability to charm the comely lasses. You can have all the looks of Italian fashion models or Portuguese soccer players and it's not necessarily going to give you that game. 

As far as the Irish women, of course they're moving up the rankings. Not because they're doing anything different. But because the  world is catching onto the fact they've been criminally overlooked and underappreciated for centuries. 

Have you seen Caitriona Balfe in "Ford vs. Ferrari" or "Outlander," where she occasionally wears clothes? Then you would understand why the Irish ladies are moving up into the Top 5, worldwide.

Or how about former Miss World, Rosanna Davison, whose dad is One Hit Wonder Chris DeBurgh, who gave the world the eternal gift of "Lady in Red"?

Nadine Coyle, formerly of Girls Aloud and now embarked on a solo career?

Singer/songwriter Una Healy, perhaps?

Hell, pick a Corr sister at random. You can't go wrong.

So yeah, save your apologies for the nationalities that need it, creepy dating site. We'll just keep having way more fun, make better beer and music, and keep attracting the sixth best women as they continue to move up the charts. Slainte'.