I mean this with all due respect to the greatest umpire of all time, Lieutenant Frank Drebin:
but ol' blue over here has better moves than fucking Bruno Mars!!! Baseball has issues with drawing in new fans? Well here's your answer. Make umpires learn coordinated dance routines to rub strike three calls in hitter's fucking faces. Just imagine Joe West busting out the Crip walk, moon walk or the stanky leg after he rings up Javy Baez for the 3rd time in a row? That is grade A fucking entertainment.
There really is nothing better than the rush of humiliating people, especially assholes who can't cover the outer third of the plate with two strikes. People go fucking crazy, when people look stupid in front of the masses. Just ask Dente when he has me call into Barstool Radio to tuck my tail between my legs when I mess up some arbitrary statistic because I can't perform elementary division problems. People eat that shit up.