Goddamit Jack. I gotta see what you need to do, Dingaling. I told you not to mess with it. Not to mention its all over your awesome shirt.
I said dont microwave it, dont screw around. And what did you do? With a BEAUTIFUL shirt on, and get it in your eyes.
Well this might be the biggest pussy family in the world. You got Jack crying like a little girl all because of a little molten hot glow stick juice in his eyes, and meanwhile Dad is reading the “what to do in case of emergency” directions on the label. I mean who actually reads that shit? Who actually follows directions or checks in with poison control and shit like that? You’ve raised a goddam idiot and now you’re calling 911 like some sort of square. You got some boiling hot shit in your eyes, fucking flush some cold water up in there. Kid just sat there letting glow stick juice basically seep into his retinas while dad read the directions.
Wouldn’t be surprised if the Dad was actually looking for the wash instructions to salvage that beautiful, awesome shirt though. That seemed to be his real concern. Forget about your son’s eyes that shirt is the real victim here. Machine wash cold bro! Like colors! Get that shit in the wash ASAP. Hate to lose your eyesight and an awesome shirt like that all in one night.
PS – Shit like this is why you absolutely grow to hate your kids, right? I mean when you think about it, when you’re a father, you have to deal with EVERY single bonehead decision your kid ever makes. From the time he’s shitting his pants to the time he’s getting a girl knocked up in college you have to clean up his mess every time. I’d imagine right around the age of like 12 or 13 when they have glow sticks blowing up in their faces is when you absolutely, 100%, truly, genuinely wish you never brought them into this world.
Shout out to Animal Man for the video