Feds Release Oliva Jade's Fake Rowing Resume That Got Her Into USC

SOURCE-The alleged bogus crew team resume cooked up for one of the daughters of Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli was filed in federal court as evidence in the “Varsity Blues” college admissions scam case.

Prosecutors attached the crew resume to their response to a motion from Loughlin and Giannulli requesting telephone, text message and interview transcripts between investigators and the admission scam mastermind Rick Singer.

Attached to 12-page response is a redacted list of crew achievements by a daughter of the couple, whose first name is also blacked out. Among the accolades claimed on the resume are top-15 finishes in unspecified categories in 2016 and 2017 at the “Head of the Charles-Boston” event.

Ahhhhh the Head of the Charles. I remember the rowing kids at my high school always getting so hyped up for that event. They'd then all come back with brand new Head of the Charles shirts/hoodies/hats/etc. and wear them immediately. It always triggered me....probably because I was jealous, but whatever, this isn't a therapy session. 

I know way too much about rowing. Saying Olivia Jade, standing at 5'5, was a coxswain of a D1 program? That should've been the #1 give away. Everyone knows you can't be that tall and be a coxswain. 

Lori Loughlin (Aunt Becky) appears to be looking at jail time. However, her daughter coxswain Olivia Jade, seems to be doing just fine:

This Varsity Blues investigation/court case has been going for a long time it appears. At what point do we just say "fuck it, who cares?" We could definitely be spending our tax dollars on something better than taking down Aunt Becky in the name of "stopping college corruption." We all know what goes on to get people into college and the feds ain't stopping that anytime soon. We aren't as dumb as you think.