Couple Has Threesomes With $30,000 Sex Dolls

Huff Po – Shawna Bigelow is only a little jealous of the numerous sex dolls her boyfriend keeps in the basement. Most of the time, though, she and Dave Hockey enjoy an ongoing sexual relationship with the dolls, which they spent more than $32,000 on, according to iTV. Their freaky extracurriculars involve little to no attachment (unless Bigelow decides to use a different attachable penis for her male doll, named Terry). “It is kind of like a threesome without anyone getting hurt,” she told the station. “You’ve got to realize that she is only a doll that’s really not real, because who has the perfect body?” The two met on a dating website more than a year ago. Bigelow said she wasn’t put off when Hockey showed her to his basement, where he keeps the dolls before bedtime. On the contrary, she started wearing the dolls’ wigs and “looking down their shirts and wanting to see everything,” according to the Daily Mail. Things quickly moved to the bedroom, where the couple shares nightly visits with one of the female dolls, Bianca. This particular plastic lover is famous; she starred alongside Ryan Gosling in the 2007 film “Lars and the Real Girl,” according to BuzzFeed.

Go ahead and judge Shawna and Dave. Go ahead. Up on your cloud of judgment handing down life lessons to all the sinners. Up in your ivory tower looking down upon people who fuck inanimate dolls. Not me. I wont do it. Because Shawna and Dave are a happy couple and they want to remain happy. And as we’ve see throughout the years on Barstool, a surefire way to ruin a happy relationship is to starting dabbling in threesomes. We’ve seen threesomes with real life, breathing people go awry in every possible way. We’ve see stabbings, we’ve seen baseball bat fights, we’ve seen people set on fire, we’ve seen threesomes end with SWAT team involvement. Bottom line is unless you have the perfect relationship with the perfect amount of trust and find the perfect third member, threesomes with your girlfriend or boyfriend just has disaster written all over it. Someone will get jealous. Someone will get attached. And someone will get violent.

But you know what is 100% incapable of being jealous, attached, or violent? A sex doll, thats what. Still got all the necessary holes. Still provides all the extra equipment you cant get in normal 1 on 1 sex. And the good part is, in the event you get jealous of the doll, you can’t get in trouble for setting a mannequin on fire. Its not a crime to bash a doll’s head with a bat. You wanna dabble in threesomes, sex doll orgies is the safest route to go.