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Miltons Pimp My Look





Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to or and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.




Today’s Contestant


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Reader Email


I gotta say to start off, I love this kid to death. He is one of my roommates but god sometimes I just ask why he does certain things. I met him one of the first days of orientation and right then I knew there was something off about this kid but I liked him. This is a kid who has absolutely no game and his motto is “never talk to girls sober.” His hobbies include being a lumberjack and living out in the woods for weeks at a time and drinking heavily. His wardrobe includes about three flannels and a sharknado shirt. Rarely will you see him not wearing some sort of vintage 1990s hat or just straight up looking homeless.This is a kid who’s preferred weekend drink is $11 Canadian Limited Whiskey or Seagrums Vodka. Seeing him on weekends is an absolute riot whether he’s yelling at a Campus Safety Office or trying to pick up some chick while shitfaced. That is of course if we don’t lose him at some point during the night.
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars6 Stars7 Stars8 Stars9 Stars10 Stars (107 votes, average: 4.58 out of 10)