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Rex Ryan: Three More Years! Three More Years!

Rex Ryan gets surprise multi-year extension from Jets

NY Post - It looks as if Rex Ryan might be sticking around longer than people predicted. Ryan and the Jets agreed to a multi-year extension, according to an ESPN report. This comes as a bit of a surprise because the expectation had been he would only get a one-year extension through the 2015 season. Ryan is entering his sixth season as the Jets head coach. Ryan was entering the final year of his existing contract in 2014. The multi-year deal will tie him to the team through at least 2016.

Today-ay-ay.. I consider myself to be-e-e.. the luckiest man-an-an… on the face-ace-ace… of the Earth… Rex is not only back, he’s back until 2016?  That’s as close to permanent as it gets in the chaotic, transient life of an NFL Head Coach.  And the only one who’s happier about it than Shrex himself is me.  I feel like Walter White when the doctor told him his cancer was in remission.  I thought it was over for me, and now all of a sudden I’ve just been given so much more time.  Three more years.  Three more years of Sexy Rexy just handing me blogging fodder on a silver platter.  Super Bowl predictions followed by 6-10 seasons.  The worst quarterbacks in the NFL.  Weird fetishes.  Pimping his MILFtastic wife on the internet to strangers.  Flipping the bird at people.  Tattoos of his wife in a Mark Sanchez jersey.  “Let’s have a goddamned snack!”  Giving himself an A+ for this years draft.  And it’s mine, all mine until at least 2016.  All because he went 8-8 and eked out his semi-annual win over the Patriots.  You know, as much as the whole PushGate thing chapped my ass and cost us home field in the Championship Game, in the long run it’ll do us more good than harm by keeping this big dirigible in place for another three years.  Without it, the Jets might have seen the light and hired some competent coach.  A professional who knows how to run a successful organization instead of a circus.  One of Belichick’s protege’s, God forbid.  But nope.  The PushGate game ended up being like one of those wacky schemes the prisoners would come up with on “Hogan’s Heroes” every time the Krauts threatened to send Kommandant Klink off the Russian Front that would make him look good so they wouldn’t get a real hardass Nazi to replace him.  So now we not only are assured the Patriots will dominate the AFC East for the foreseeable future, I get three more years of Rex blogs that practically write themselves.

I don’t want to kill you, Rex!  What would I do without you?  Go back to ripping off mob dealers?  No, no, NO! No.  You… you… complete me.  @JerryThornton1