Barry Bonds Has A LinkedIn Profile And It's Fucking Awesome

Barry Bonds. Not qualified for the Baseball Hall of Fame, but definitely qualified for that mid-level community relations position you just applied for: 

Honestly though you'd be so fucked if you were applying for a position on LinkedIn and you saw Barry Bonds applied for the very same job. Look at this body of work: 

People love asking about experience. 

Tell me about your prior experience - HR bitch

How about 7 MVPs, 2 battings titles, 14 All Star games, 8 gold gloves and 12 silver sluggers. How about being the only memeber in the 500/500 club and the two batting titles and that all time career home run record? Is that enough experience? 

Or you could ask him about his education. I probably wouldn't if I were you, but you can try.

Barry Bonds achieved all his success on the back of part-time credit from Arizona State University. Talk about a real go-getter. My first instinct looking at his background is that Barry's work ethic says a lot more about his character than the name on his degree. You don't become the world's best from a school like ASU without having the "It" factor. Duh. 

But then there's skillsets and boy does Barry Bonds have some skillsets. Things like Baseball, Athletics, Sports. The classics. 

Need a little Industry Knowledge? Need a little Social Media expertise or Event Management experience to go with those 762 career home runs? 

Well then do I have the candidate for you. 

His name is Barry Lamar Bonds and he's the greatest baseball player of all time.