Somebody Went To KFC And Thoroughly Enjoyed Their Meal, Just Kidding Turns Out They Bit Into A Deep Fried Paper Towel

Huffington Post-   A mother in Newcastle, England was horrified when her stepson bit into a deep-fried blue paper towel, the Mirror reported last week. Krystal Henderson, 29, and 7-year-old Oliver Hallam purchased takeout from a KFC branch in Killingsworth, according to the Express. At home, Oliver took a bite out of what he assumed was chicken, but recoiled seconds later.  He pulled it out of his mouth and when he did, it pulled away the batter – you could see the blue roll inside,” Henderson said, according to the Daily Mail. Henderson said that realizing Oliver had bitten into a paper towel was worse than if it had just been bad chicken. “If it was bad chicken they might have just had a bad batch or something,” she said. “But the blue roll could have been used for anything – it could have bleach or disinfectant on it … Had someone wiped their hands on it, had it been used to wipe the floor?”

I gotta say, I don’t even feel sorry for this person in the least bit.  Is it a completely gross story?  Yes.  Is there a chance that paper towel was used to wipe up the floor or the bathroom?  Yes.  Should the person be completely surprised by what they found in their meal?  Absolutely not.  It’s an unwritten rule that if you make the decision to go to KFC then you have to live with the risks of going to KFC.  You’re not allowed to complain afterwards if something goes haywire.  You have to be ready for anything.  Know that going in and you’ll be fine.  It’s always amazing to me that people are shocked after going to a place that makes fast food chicken and they end up sitting on their toliet for 3 days in a row or chomping down on a used paper towel.  You get what you pay for.  In a way that’s the beauty of a place like KFC and other fast food places..  What am I gonna get this time?  A real piece of chicken or a rolled up paper towel?  It’s like Russian roulette with food.

PS- Even with all that said, I’ll still crush KFC every once in a while.  Some times it’s good to shock the system with fucking awful food just to keep it guessing.