Woman Almost Burns Down Her House After Trying To Kill A Spider With Some Towels She Lit On Fire

Huffington Post- A woman in Hutchinson, Kansas, is charged with arson after police say she set her home on fire during an attempt to kill a spider, the Hutchinson News reports. Ginny M. Griffith, 34, told officers she used a cigarette lighter to set some towels on fire around 1:30 a.m., Friday. She was hoping to catch the little arachnid with the flaming towels and burn it to death, according to WTSP. It’s unclear if she ever caught the spider, but the fire that resulted did necessitate intervention from the fire department. Five units were summoned and managed to control the fire, which they said had multiple points of origin, within a matter of minutes. Griffith’s aggravated arson charge stems from the fact that the other half of the duplex was occupied when the blaze began. No one, besides potentially the spider, was injured in the fire and the building only suffered light smoke damage.

If you think I’m gonna sit here and make fun of this chick for almost burning her house down to kill a spider, you’re outta your fucking mind.  There’s nothing scarier on God’s green Earth than a spider.  Nothing.  That’s just a fact.  So, flaming towels that almost burn down an entire apartment complex?  I fully support it.  I get it it.  I totally get it.  So be it.  Kill that devil creature by any means necessary.  If I was holding a shot gun and my grandma was standing between me and a spider, I wouldn’t even hesitate to pull the trigger even if it meant killing my sweet grandmother in the process of also killing the spider.  Necessary collateral damage.  And any reasonable, spider-fearing judge would understand why I killed my grandma.  A little story from my life.  I was laying in bed the other night (calm down, ladies) staring at my phone and refreshing Twitter until I fell asleep like I always do.  When all of the sudden through the white glow of my phone I see a tiny spider scampering across the wall adjacent to my head.  And before I was able to get into a combat position and kill the hell-born intruder, he was gone.  Disappeared off into the night.  Needless to say I slept on the couch for the next few nights in fear that the insect, which was maybe the size of a finger nail, was going to eat me whole as I slept.  I would’ve killed for some fiery towels that night.