The Dozen Season 3 Kicks Off from Philadelphia | Matchups 1 & 2WATCH NOW

Colts Offering $500,000 To Fans Who Can Correctly Predict The Game Time Temperature At The Start Of Every Game This Season

Screen Shot 2014-07-15 at 3.06.17 PM

PFTEarlier this year, the Rams offered a paltry $100,000 to the fan who accomplished the virtually impossible task of exactly predicting the team’s 2014 regular-season schedule.  The Colts have given fans an equally (if not more) unrealistic chance of winning five times as much money. From now through August 7 at 12:01 p.m. ET, fans can guess the kickoff temperature for all four preseason and 16 regular-season games, along with whether the roof will be open for the team’s home games.  Anyone who nails all 30 variables will be eligible to win the $500,000. If more than one person gets everything right, they’ll share the money.  If no one gets the kickoff temperatures and the open/close decision right for all games, no one wins the $500,000. Here’s our prediction:  No one will get all the variables right.

Well right off the bat you just gotta pray for heavy rain all 8 of your home games to get the dome closed and play indoors, right? Just pick the average temperature for an indoor game all your home games and any of your potential road games in a dome. You got a better shot at inclement weather every single dome game than you do predicting that fickle slut Mother Nature. Days, nights. Seasonal changes. Wind, clouds. Just impossible. Gotta get like 8 to 10 dome games for this to even be 0.000000001% possible. Just pick like 68 degrees or whatever they keep the indoor temperature at and hope they dont fuck with that thermostat. The rest you’re just flying by the seat of your pants. The fucking weather, man. Weathermen try to predict that shit for a living and they get it wrong every single day. The big stuff too. Not just the individual temperature.

But whatever. Its like Kevin from the Office betting that John Mellencamp is gonna win an Oscar. Might as well throw your hat in the ring and start guessing temperatures.