Its July 1st. So you know what that means! That means the Mets give Bobby Bonilla $1.2 million. This is the 4th installment of his contract deferral. Only 21 more to go! Now listen I know one of you Wall Street Journal nerds out there is gonna tell me how the Mets were actually smart about this deal. You look at this chart and it somehow tells you how the Mets won this contract and Bobby Bo lost:
I dunno about all that shit but I do know that the Mets are gonna pay a guy millions for almost 30 fucking years. And I also know that anyone assuming that Bobby Bo’s deferred money was invested wisely is making a huge assumption regarding the New York Mets. And I also know that the Mets did this with Bret Saberhagen too and there are plenty of teams that defer money like this and its not just about the Mets being incompetent.
But whatever, the point of this blog isn’t the Mets. Its about Bobby Bonilla. I think you could make the strong argument that on July 1, Bobby Bonilla is the happiest person on the planet. The happiness he feels today might be unrivaled. Nobody, on any day, is ever happier than Bobby Bo is every July 1st. Not kids at Christmas. Not a pig in shit. Nobody is happier than Bobby Bonilla on his Mets pay day. Because in this world, there’s nothing better than money you didn’t “earn.” Kinda like every year you get a tax return. Yea, technically thats just the government giving you back the money you should have had in the first place. But at that moment in April, you feel like you just won the lottery. Imagine that feeling to the tune of $1.2 million? Its like Bobby gets the biggest, best tax return EVER every single year. For doing absolutely nothing. And yea, again the macroeconomic nerds are gonna tell me if he invested his contract wisely he would have more money than with the deferred payments but fuck that. A) Bobby Bonilla wouldn’t have investedd that shit properly either, and B) Throwing a $1.2 million free crack party every July 1 is better than a few extra bucks sitting in a bank account.
PS – If I ever start a cover band our name will be “Bobby Bonilla’s Contract.”