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Please Stop Talking Shit To My Bowling Partner

Everyone’s having so much fun at my buddy Tony’s expense for working on his straight ball at the gym this week and it’s total fucking bullshit. Tony carries a 196 average and that’s 2 years after a bad wrist surgery. I drove him to therapy 3 times a week when we were living in Lakeview together. He’d come home after work – a long day fielding IT customer service calls – and he’d say “Carl I need you to drive me to physical therapy” and I would because I’m a good friend. Then we’d stop off at Vaughn’s on the way home and get shit faced. Tony would always say the beers after PT slap harder because of the Tylenol horse tablets his therapist fed him to aid in his recovery. Those were some good times.

Well fast forward through T-Bone’s recovery and we’re back on our usual bullshit, fucking up the Echo Logistics Wednesday night league. T’s hook has fully bounced back to it’s early glory. His ex-girlfriend also gave him a new ball this December for help on the 1 and 2 pin spares. Nice gesture if you ask me. It’s got a skull inside it.

We joked that if Tony cheated on her one more time, it would be his skull inside the ball and not him receiving it as a Christmas present. Stacey (the ex) laughed, but not hard enough to make me think she wouldn’t do it. Poor Tony. We’ve been hoping he’d be able to get some space from her in 2020 which brings me back to bowling.

Tony is just looking for an escape. We lost a couple of big games last week and he took it rather personally. Lots have been going on in his life lately and I’ve been encouraging him to really pour his heart and soul behind the game. It’s basically all he has left. So there I am trying to be a good friend:

Practice Makes Perfect, Tony

Did I know he’d take the 15 pounder down to LA Fitness for some reps next to the squat rack? Did I think he’d become an internet sensation overnight? Or that he’d be knee deep in suggestive DM’s from a bunch of middle aged bonafide slump busters?

No I did not.

But that’s the internet and for the last fucking time I’m gonna ask you guys to be nice. It’s all the guy has left.