Chinese Billionaire Trying To Throw $1 Million Picnic For NYC's Poor People

Business Insider – An eccentric Chinese billionaire has announced plans to invite 1,000 impoverished Americans for a slap-up meal in Central Park in a bid to show fellow tycoons there is more to life than “luxury goods, gambling and prostitution”. Chen Guangbiao, a recycling magnate from the eastern province of Jiangsu, issued the invitation to his “charity luncheon for 1,000 poor and destitute Americans” through two prominent adverts placed in the New York Times and Wall Street Journal this week. Guests will be given $300 (£177) to spend on “occupational training” as well as lunch at the Loeb Boathouse restaurant in Manhattan’s Central Park. The restaurant, which featured in the 1989 comedy When Harry Met Sally, describes itself as “the ultimate urban oasis” and “a haven for romantics and nature lovers”. Mr Chen said he hoped the lunch, which he expects to cost around $1 million (£590,000), would boost relations between China and the United States and change people’s perceptions of wealthy Chinese. “I want to spread the message in the US that there are good philanthropists in China and not all are crazy spenders on luxury goods,” he told Hong Kong’s South China Morning Post on Wednesday.

Well this should go well. Get all the poor vagrants on New York City in Central Park, give them 300 bucks, food, and When Harry Met Sally and see what happens. This is so perfectly Asian because A) This guy clearly has no social awareness of the repercussions of this, and B) The choice to air When Harry Met Sally, a movie thats 25 years old, is just so Asian. I guess to be fair the last time a bunch of homeless people were watching movies was probably ’89 so maybe that move makes sense. I’m betting that we’re gonna have a few thousand hobos whipping out their dicks during the fake orgasm scene, but what do I know.

Bottom line is that would be the best case scenario for this fiasco. A bunch of masturbating homeless. Because worst case scenario of gathering all of the poor into one park and giving them money is downright catastrophic. Chen Guangbio is basically throwing a “$1,000,000 Crack Party” for the bums of this city. I mean most people won’t give a homeless dude a single fucking cent. I legit will not give a bum one penny because everyone knows thats going right to booze and drugs and more of a life of not showering and pooping in between parked cars and you don’t want to support that. Chen over here is just gonna give 300 bucks to every Tom, Dick and Harry living in a cardboard box. You know how much Mad Dog 20/20 you can buy with that? You know how many rocks of crack you can buy with that? I mean the stampede of bums trying to get into this When Crackheads Met Money party will be unstoppable. A tidal wave of stench. A Tsunami of Tstink. And how would it even work? Some Asian just walks around handing out stacks of money? Writing checks? That will end really, really well.

I say we lure 1,000 bums into the park and then just napalm the place.

UPDATE: They aren’t actually airing When Harry Met Sally. Thats just the same restaurant from the movie. Makes it even funnier that it is entirely plausible that an Asian guy would air that movie during this event. Like absolutely anything is possible when talking about them